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05 February 2012
A Film Critic's Super Bowl Prediction - Movie Reviews for Kids

The day is finally here for Journey 2: The 2nd time the Giants and the the Patriots are meeting in the Super Bowl. Will Eli Manning need another Big Miracle play in the 4th quarter to beat Tom Brady and N.E. again? Or will the old War Horse, Tom Coughlin, be a Man on a Ledge when this one is over?

One thing I know for sure, the crowd at Lucas Oil Stadium will be Extremely Loud and I think the game will be Incredibly Close. Even the halftime show should be exciting, unless Madonna's performance goes Haywire.

For while it will seem like a Mission: Impossible, as the Patriots will have the lead late in the game, but the Giants will experience an Underworld: Awakening in the 4th quarter.

And in the end I see Manning being The Artist, driving the Giants to victory, on a game-winning pass that will be One For The Money. And a Joyful Noise will be heard from Giants fans everywhere.

Final Score: Giants 35 Patriots 31

A game that will live-on forever in the hearts and minds of NY Giants supporters, and their Descendants.


In Theaters

Big Miracle (PG) C-

Big Miracle (PG) C- - Movie Reviews for Kids

"Big Miracle" is not inspired by the true story of the U.S. hockey team beating Russia in the 1980 Winter Olympics. That was 2004's "Miracle". In this movie, one of the first of Universal Studio's 100th anniversary year, the Americans and Russians actually work together, to try to save three whales. And, yes, it's also based on an actual event.

John Krasinski (from TV's "The Office") stars as Adam, a TV news reporter working in Barrow, Alaska (which is located above the Arctic Circle) back in 1988. One day he discovers that three large, grey whales are trapped in the ice, with only one small hole for them to come to the surface to breathe. He does a story on the whales which is shown on the NBC Nightly News. Soon everyone, from school kids to the President of the United States, becomes interested in the plight of this whale family.

Including Adam's ex-girlfriend Rachel, played by Drew Barrymore. She's the leader of Greenpeace, and she comes to Barrow to try to use her power to get the help needed to free the whales. And there's Ted Danson, who plays as an evil and greedy oil company executive and Kristen Bell, as TV reporter sent from L.A. to cover the story. And there are plenty of local Alaskans on hand. They all come together to try to save the whales.

And that's pretty much it. "Big Miracle" is a one-note film. It's all about saving these whales, who are given the Flintstones names Fred, Wilma and Bamm-Bamm for some reason. Some inspirational movies that are based on a true story grab you emotionally and really make you care about what's going to happen. "Big Miracle" just floats there, like a dead goldfish in a bowl, for nearly two hours. You're hoping that maybe it's going to come to life and starting swimming around, but it never does.

One of the main problems is that the three whales just aren't likeable. All they do is pop-up out of the water for a few seconds and then go back down. Over and over and over. Very tough for the filmmakers to get the audience to make a connection with key characters who have no personality. Compare this to last September's "Dolphin Tale", whose main character, an injured dolphin, was fun and very likeable. It also helped that the dolphin in "Dolphin Tale" was real. It's very obvious that the three whales in "Big Miracle" are animatronic creations.

As for the performances, they are shockingly bad, led by Barrymore. But it's not entirely her fault, as the dialogue she and the rest of the cast is forced to deliver is pretty corny. And there are some scenes that are utterly ridiculous, including the ones involving President Reagan and the Russians, that could have been part of a Saturday Night Live skit.

"Big Miracle" is rated PG for some mild language. It's appropriate for kids 9 and up. Parents, don't take your little ones to this thinking it's a fun, cute movie about whales. It's a long, talky movie about "saving whales". Like the two six year olds in the row ahead of me they will quickly get bored and want to leave. Come to think of it, that's kinda how I felt. The only thing that kept me going was the actual news footage of the whale rescue story that's used throughout the film. It was fun seeing Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and the late Peter Jennings once again.

On The Official L-C-J Report Card, "Big Miracle" gets a C-.

This movie was originally called "Everybody Loves Whales". Good decision to change that, since it kept critics from writing such lines as "Nothing to love about 'Everybody Loves Whales'." However, I have to say that the biggest miracle involving "Big Miracle" will be if it makes it's budget back at the box office.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (PG-13) B+

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (PG-13) B+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

"Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" deals with a very difficult subject: the attacks of 9/11. But this film is much more than that. It's also a story about journeys and taking risks, dealing with grief and moving forward.

14 year-old Thomas Horn was chosen to play young Oskar Schell, the main character of the story, by director Stephen Daldry when he saw Horn competing on "Kids Jeopardy". And Horn is excellent in this very challenging role, which required him to deliver a tremendous amount of dialogue and raw emotion in practically every single scene.

Oskar is very smart but he also has issues with anxiety and socialization. His father (played by Tom Hanks) knew how to get the best out of his son. They loved to play word games and he would send Oskar on adventures throughout NYC that would force him to use his mind and talk with people. When his father dies in the World Trade Center attacks, Oskar and his mother (Sandra Bullock) are devastated, unable to make sense out of what happened. 

A year later, while in his father closet, Oskar finds a key that he believes his father left him as part of a final adventure. So he begins a quest to find the lock that goes with the key, hoping what's inside will provide some answers. Along the way Oskar meets many people, some who change his life as he does theirs.

"Extremely Loud and Incredible Close" is based on a novel which went much more into the details of the 9/11 attacks. For his film Daldry has simplified things. This is Oskar's story: a young boy trying, in his own way, to deal with the sudden loss of his father. But the script and the performances make it work. The film is over 2-hours long, but you stay with it the entire time. Solid supporting performances from Max Von Sydow and Viola Davis compliment the work of Horn, Bullock and Hanks, who is only in a handful of scenes.

As has been the trend with many end of the year releases (including "J. Edgar" and "The Iron Lady"), flashbacks are used extensively, as we see (and hear, in heart-breaking phone messages) the events of 9/11 as they are happening, in bits-and-pieces, throughout the movie. By the end we get the full story of that day for this family, and it helps make for a believable conclusion. The flashback clips help build to a suspenseful climax as Oskar's quest with the key is also coming to an end.

"Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" is rated PG-13, mostly for the realistic and tragic subject matter. It's appropriate for teens and up, but it's tricky to recommend. Anyone who lost a loved one or was personally effected by 9/11 in other ways may want to avoid this film, as some scenes may be very tough to handle, even 10 years later. This movie is powerful and quite sad.

On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close" gets a B+. I think it's one of the best films of the year and it definitely deserves a Best Picture Oscar nomination.

The Iron Lady (PG-13) B

The Iron Lady (PG-13) B - Movie Reviews for Kids

From the title you might think "The Iron Lady" is the story of the wife of "Iron Man". And while Meryl Streep could probably pull-off that role too, here she stars as Margaret Thatcher, Britain's first female Prime Minister.

Right from the first time Streep is on screen it's hard to recognize her because SHE IS Thatcher. And that convincing portrayal continues throughout the entire film. Much of the story of Thatcher's life is shown in flashbacks (Alexandra Roach plays Thatcher as a young girl). We see how she developed the drive to get to into politics, how she had to fight the men who ignored and dismissed her because of her gender and how she made it to the top.

Along with the flashbacks, director Phyllida Lloyd uses another device to provide some insight into Thatcher - her deceased husband Denis (played by Jim Broadbent). He's seen through hallucinations by the elderly Thatcher, and the couple carry on conversations and discuss events of the past. This choice by Lloyd shows Margaret as quite a different person from the one who was one of the most powerful leaders in the world during her time in office. The flashback scenes provide a look of Thatcher fighting hard for England against the odds and, at times, against everyone else. She's inspiring.

And Streep is amazing. Let's be honest - Meryl Streep should be nominated for just about every role she does and win an Oscar every time she's nominated. She is THE best actress working today - and nobody's a close second. But Academy voters, for some reason, like to give the honor most years to someone else - a surprising performance, a comeback performance, a newcomer. This is a shame. And it may happen again this year (as either Michelle Williams or Viola Davis could walk away with the Best Actress statue). We may be getting to the point where Streep should start receiving Lifetime Achievement Awards if she's not going to get the regular honors she deserves.

As for "The Iron Lady" itself, the flashback scenes are a little distracting during the first part of the film but settle down a bit later. There's a very authentic look to the film, highlighted by the wardrobes and the use of actual news footage of some of the historic events (though we never see the real Thatcher in any of them). All of the other performances are solid, but the story doesn't grab you as much as it should have. Frankly, I would have liked to have seen much more of Thatcher's exciting life when she was The Iron Lady and less of her as a sad, old lady.

"The Iron Lady" is rated PG-13 for some language and violence. It's appropriate for teens and up and, much like "J. Edgar", is a good choice for students who may be studying this time in world history.

On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "The Iron Lady" gets a B. But it's a must-see for Streep's performance. 

Joyful Noise (PG-13) C+

Joyful Noise (PG-13) C+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

Normally, if a studio is unhappy or not confident in a movie, they'll bury it by releasing it in either January or August. Warner Bros. latest, "Joyful Noise", is one of the first new films of 2012, and while it does have some problems, it's not a complete loss - thanks to the music.

Queen Latifah co-produces and stars as ViRose Hill, the newly appointed director of a Gospel choir for a church in a small town in Georgia. Dolly Parton plays G.G., who's also a choir member. She wanted to be choir director so the two don't get along.

The town is in tough financial shape, and the one thing that brings everyone together and makes them happy is cheering for the choir as they take part each year in the national "Joyful Noise" competition. They've never made it to the finals - but this year could be different - thanks to ViRose's daughter (played by Keke Palmer) and G.G.'s grandson (Jeremy Jordan). They're both great singers who bring some young energy, and some young love, to the choir.

There are also several subplots, including one involving ViRose's son, who has Asperger's syndrome; her husband, who's in the military and a really weird one involving one of the choir members that doesn't even belong in this movie.

"Joyful Noise" needed some serious editing. The 120-minutes could easily have been cut-down to 95, and it would have made for a much better film. And much of what could have gone involves the songs. The film is divided almost equally between the story and musical numbers, some that are great and others that are totally unnecessary. And all of the songs are performed in their entirety, even ones not involving any of the main characters. Parton wrote three of the tunes and she and Latifah have plenty of opportunities to prove they can still sing (though Latifiah's solo midway through the film sadly brings everything to a stand still).

Palmer is the best singer of them all. Her version of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" at the beginning of the movie is tremendous.

From the commercials and the trailers you may think "Joyful Noise" is simply a musical/comedy, but the film does have some dramatic elements. And there are moments when it rises above the cheesy level where it exists most of the time. All of the acting is a little forced but I have to admit I did laugh a few times during the silly fight scene in the restaurant between Parton and Latifah, even though it's ridiculous.

"Joyful Noise" is rated PG-13 for language and brief adult content. Teens will like the young love story while fans of Parton will be thrilled to see her back on the big screen for the first time in 20-years. But the reason to see this movie is for the Gospel music. I'm sure there will be real choirs that will go see this movie and break out in song in the middle of the theater. Again, they're not all hits, but there's enough to make this at least a semi-joyful experience.

On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Joyful Noise" gets a C+.

Inspirational music overcomes an uninspired story.


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