Movie Reviews

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If I Stay (PG-13) B-

If I Stay (PG-13) B- - Movie Reviews for Kids

"If I Stay" is the "End of Summer of 2014 Tween/Teen Romantic Tearjerker". Based on the popular 2009 novel by Gayle Forman, Chloe Grace Moretz ("Kick-Ass") stars as 17-year-old Mia. She lives with her parents and younger brother Teddy in Portland, Oregon. Mia's love of music was inherited from her mom and dad, but they were rockers and she plays classical cello. Adam (Jamie Blackley) is the lead singer of a local rock band. He instantly falls in love with Mia while watching her play the cello in school, and together they form what they believe will be an unbreakable bond.

But that all changes when Mia, Teddy, and their parents get into a serious car accident. Mia survives the crash but slips into a coma. Yet (as a cinematic device) she is able to step away from her body and watch as the rest of the day unfolds, and her fate, and those of her parents and brother, are decided. At the same time, through flashbacks, we get to see the key moments in Mia's life - from early childhood to the current day, as she's deciding whether or not to fight to stay alive.

"If I Stay" is stronger than I expected, both structurally and emotionally. It doesn't quite provide the punch of the "Beginning of Summer Tween/Teen Romantic Tearjerker", the surprise hit "The Fault in Our Stars", but it's close. Moretz and Blackley have a likeable chemistry and are most believable in their pre-ER scenes. Mireille Enos ("The Killing", "World War Z") and Joshua Leonard ("The Blair Witch Project") are solid as the ex-rocker parents. And Stacy Keach, as Mia's supportive grandfather, has two showcase scenes that are the most authentic and heartbreaking in the entire film.

There are predictable elements in "If I Stay", and minor details are given away early that take away from some of the suspense in the final act. Some scenes are stretched-out simply to fill time, which is necessary since the main storyline ("Will she stay or will she die?") is fairly thin. And judging from the reaction of the mostly female YA audience in the theater I was in, there may be some dissatisfaction with the rather abrupt ending. Overall, veteran TV/documentary director R.J. Cutler deserves credit for taking this material, including the "out there" premise and making a film that, for the most part, is genuine and effective.

"If I Stay" is rated PG-13 for some language, adult content, dramatic elements and medical scenes. There were tears flowing freely in the theater, so keep that in mind before deciding if this subject matter is for you.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "If I Stay" gets a B-.

When the Game Stands Tall (PG) C-

When the Game Stands Tall (PG) C- - Movie Reviews for Kids

I give the team behind the new sports movie, "When the Game Stands" a lot of credit for pulling-off something nearly impossible: they've made a film about the most successful high school football team of all-time that's about as exciting as a 0-0 tie in an NFL exhibition game.

"When the Game Stands Tall" is based on the true story of Concord, California's De La Salle High School football program, and head coach Bob Ladouceur, who lead the team to the longest winning streak in sports history - 151 games in a row - from 1992-2003. However, like all  unprecedented accomplishments, De La Salle finally lost and the streak ended in the '04 season opener. The film looks at the coach and his players before, during and mostly after they suffer their historic loss.

In the months leading up to seeing the film I had watched the unapologetic Regal Cinemas First Look preview for "Game" over a dozen times, and it gave away nearly every major plot point. The summary (SPOILER ALERT if you haven't been to a Regal theater in awhile) said it all: "Bob has a heart attack, a very popular player is tragically killed, and they lose the streak - all within a couple of months." Well, what's left?

So, while the clock was ticking along as I was watched "Game", I kept waiting for something genuinely surprising or interesting to take place. And nothing does. Instead we get a script packed with cliches, countless forced speeches and stereotype characters, from the hot-shot player, to the ignored wife, to the worst stage parent in the history of high school football. Coach Ladouceur is played by "Person of Interest" star Jim Caviezel with all the energy and enthusiasm of a zombie. An almost unrecognizable Michael Chiklis is the way too sensitive assistant coach, and Laura Dern's best scene, as Bob's wife, is a bizarre monologue which comes out of nowhere and doesn't fit at all.

A subplot involving QB Chris Ryan ("The Hunger Games"' Alexander Ludwig) and his father Mickey, who's obsessed with his son breaking a touchdown record, gets way over-the-top in the "all-football" second half. The actor who plays Mickey is Clancy Brown, the voice of Mr. Krabs on "SpongeBob SquarePants". Both characters are greedy, but I'll take Mr. Krabs, who's genuinely loyal to his "son-like" fry cook over this wacko father any day (who by the way, wasn't a real person, but made-up for the movie).

Many of the predictable themes of "When the Game Stands Tall" involve friendship, brotherhood and bonding over, as the Coach puts it, "just a high school football game". Yet there's only one brief classroom scene and no discussions about the importance of academics. Though they try to deny it, this film is all about the game. Technically, director Thomas Carter ("Coach Carter") succeeds with the well-shot football scenes. And a stretch in a rehabilitation facility (also fiction) is a nice change of pace. But the announcer voice-overs are amateurish and completely unrealistic and there are so many obvious and sloppy mistakes that the editors must have been rookies.

"When the Game Stands Tall" is rated PG for brief violence, smoking, and mild thematic elements. Diehard football fans expecting an inspiring film with emotionally charged moments will be disappointed with this unsatisfying and corny take on a coach and team that deserved much better.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "When the Game Stands Tall" gets a C-.

The Giver (PG-13) D+

The Giver (PG-13) D+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

At one point in "The Giver", Meryl Streep tells fellow Oscar winner Jeff Bridges: "When people have the freedom to choose - they choose wrong." This seems to apply perfectly to the decision that Bob & Harvey Weinstein made to finance this big-screen adaptation of one of the most popular tween books of the last 25 years. I had several opportunities to read The Giver in grade school, but after hearing things about the story, I decided the premise was a little too "out there" for my taste. The same can be said for the film version.

The first thing readers of the novel will notice is that Bridges doesn't have the beard and long white hair of The Giver on the cover of the book. The filmmakers decided to "giver" the hair extension to Streep instead. She portrays the Chief Elder, who rules over a large, futuristic colony where the people have no emotions, don't experience pain, have no authentic feelings, don't know color or the meaning of love.

On Graduation Day, 18-year-old Jonas (played by Brenton Thwaites - Prince Philip in "Maleficent") is assigned to his life-long job - a special one where he gets to work with The Giver himself as the new Receiver of Memories. But when Jonas begins to learn how life used to be, and how everyone in the community is being deceived, he decides he needs to do something about it.

The overriding problem with "The Giver", is that the narrative is simply too tame. There are some potentially interesting concepts here, but the  elementary school-level script never goes deep enough to explore them. Since it's based on a tween novel I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but the film is PG-13 and needed much more depth.

Bridges and Streep attempt to elevate "The Giver" with their performances, but director Phillip Noyce ("Salt") is too restrained with them as well. Many scenes come-off as hokey, including several sledding rides, practically every scene involving Jonas' zombie-like parents (played by Alexander Skarsgard and Katie Holmes) and his naive girlfriend Fiona (Odeya Rush), and a hologram cameo performance by singer Taylor Swift, who plays the piano while trying to act alongside the veteran Bridges. And on top of all of this is a "sing-songy" score that won't get out of your head for weeks.

"The Giver" is rated PG-13 for some sci-fi action/violence, disturbing images and a whole lot of peril for one brave little baby. If the serious themes had been developed at all, "The Giver" may have been worth recommending. But as is, "The Giver" takes (time and $$) much more than it gives.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "The Giver" receives a D+.

The Expendables 3 (PG-13) B

The Expendables 3 (PG-13) B - Movie Reviews for Kids

"The Expendables 3" boasts the most star-studded cast of any film this year - from Hollywood heavyweights to an actual welterweight, a sitcom star, a vampire heartthrob, the Governator, and an ex-con who, both in real life and in this backstory, served time for tax evasion. And at the center of it all, once again, is Sylvester Stallone, who has crafted a third successful movie franchise (following the combined 10 "Rocky" and "Rambo" films) with a little help from his friends, who also happen to be some of the most iconic action figures of all-time.

This third chapter in "The Expendables" series is funnier than the previous two, largely due to brilliant new cast members. Wesley Snipes cracks several great one-liners, as does Mr. "Air Force One" himself, Harrison Ford, whose character admits at the end of the film - "This is the most fun I've had in a long time" - and you can tell that Ford is talking about himself. Antonio Banderas, whose Galgo desperately wants to join the team and talks non-stop, provides most of the comic relief. But it's the only character who doesn't fire a gun or kill anyone who steals the show: Kelsey Grammer's Bonaparte, who in a series of scenes, takes Stallone's Barney on a search for some new, younger crew members, gets most of the best lines and delivers them in that classic, Grammer style.

Unfortunately, it's when these rookie recruits take center-stage, that the energy level and excitement of "The Expendables 3" takes a major hit. Kellan Lutz ("Twilight"), MMA fighter Ronda Rousey (who's got a lot of training to do in the acting department), boxer Victor Ortiz, and up-and-coming actor Glen Powell can't bring nearly the same energy or command of the screen as the likes of Jason Statham, Randy Couture, Dolph Lungdren, Jet Li, Terry Crews and yes, Arnold. And who wants to see 20-somethings fighting bad guys in an "Expendables" movie?

This time around the plot centers on the hunt for just one man: ex-Expendables member Conrad Stonebanks, who has gone to the dark side. And believe it or not, Mel Gibson is excellent in the role. He actually creates one of the best movie villains we've seen in some time. This guy doesn't just talk tough - he means business (no telephone necessary).

"The Expendables 3" is rated PG-13 for loads of action/violence and some obligatory language. The action scenes are as wild and outrageous as you'd expect, and new director Patrick Hughes is able to handle all the frantic staging and gunplay with ease. There are a few "wow" moments, but much of visual look is rather cheesy, because the majority of the budget probably went to paying all the stars. And it's the performances and not the explosions and death toll, that make this threequel work as pure summer entertainment.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "The Expendables 3", like its two predecessors, gets a very solid B. It'll be interesting to see if Stallone decides to continue onward or pull an Arnold by bidding "Hasta La Vista, baby" to the franchise.

Let's Be Cops (R) B-

Let's Be Cops (R) B- - Movie Reviews for Kids

"Let's Be Cops" has one of the most basic, yet original, premises of the year: Two 30-year-old roommates, unsatisfied with their lives and careers, dress-up as cops for a costume party. But the outfits are so authentic-looking (complete with real hand-guns and badges) that everyone thinks they're actually LAPD. They enjoy the power and attention that comes with "being" police officers, so Ryan, an unemployed former college football star and Justin, a low-level video game developer (played by "New Girl" stars Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans, Jr.) decide to keep their new identities and pretend to be cops in the real world. And, obviously, it doesn't take long for them to get in over their heads.

This film had the potential to quickly turn into a typical over-the-top buddy-cop farce. While there are some outrageous moments (there have to be with a plot like this), co-writer/director Luke Greenfield ("Something Borrowed") is able to take a clever idea, insert a lot of funny dialogue and wacky situations, and avoid over-doing it with cliches. The result is one of the summer's standout comedies.

Of course not all of the material works, but Johnson and Wayans, Jr., who are in nearly every scene, keep the laughs coming. Their familiarity with each other shows, much like what we saw with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum in this summer's other "bromantic cop comedy", ""22 Jump Street". The sarcastic wise cracks flow freely. Rob Riggle, who also co-starred in "22 Jump Street", plays a real LAPD officer here. His reliable mix of straight-man persona with perfectly-timed humor works yet again. The supporting cast also includes Nina Dobrev ("The Vampire Diaries") as Justin's love interest and "Key and Peele"'s Keegan-Michael Key, who doesn't venture too far outside familiar territory in his role. Even Andy Garcia shows-up halfway through as a crime boss.

"Let's Be Cops" is rated R for plenty of adult language and references, plus drug use, brief nudity and violence. It's appropriate for mid-teens and up. The script is rather predictable and there aren't nearly as many funny moments in the more dramatic second half. But at the tail end of a summer that's been filled with action sequels and blockbuster busts, a traditional comedy with more hits than misses is a welcome addition.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Let's Be Cops" gets a B-.

The Hundred-Foot Journey (PG) B+

The Hundred-Foot Journey (PG) B+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

"The Hundred-Foot Journey" is a smart, sweet and surprisingly delectable end-of-summer romantic dramedy. Executive Producers Steven Spielberg and Oprah Winfrey clearly understood the vision of director Lasse Hallstrom (whose impressive credits include "The Cider House Rules", "Chocolat" and "Salmon Fishing in the Yemen") and screenwriter Steven Knight (who's having a fantastic year with indie gem "Locke" and now this winner). Based on the 2010 novel by Richard C. Moranis, "The Hundred-Foot Journey" is nearly a 4-star experience, with excellent characters, genuine performances, and, with every great dish, a whole lot of love.

Oscar winner Helen Mirren stars as Madame Mallory, the longtime owner of a renowned restaurant in a small town outside of Paris, who has very high standards for her cuisine. So when a not-so-wealthy family from Mumbai decides to move into a vacant building directly across the street (exactly 100 feet away) and open their own, Indian-themed restaurant, Mallory's temperature immediately rises. Competition erupts amongst the Madame and the Kadam family, including patriarch Papa (Om Puri is delightful) and his aspiring-chef son Hassan (played by Manish Dayal).

But just when you start thinking that you know what's on this menu, "The Hundred-Foot Journey" evolves from the predictable "restaurant vs. restaurant" set-up into something much more. Relationships form, unexpected opportunities arise, and the script explores some serious subject matter, including the importance of careers, ambition and success. Going in I expected the "young love" relationship between Hassan and a rival chef to take prominence over the Madame Mallory storyline, but Hallstrom does a nice job in balancing each portion with the right amount of care and attention. And unlike with "Julie & Julia", "Chef" and other recent food-based films, the dishes featured aren't a major focus in this recipe.

At two hours "The Hundred-Foot Journey" does drag briefly in spots, but otherwise it's packed with delightful moments. You can't judge a cookbook by its cover, or a meal simply by its presentation. Experiencing "The Hundred-Foot Journey" is like enjoying a rare, exemplary dish: memorable and completely satisfying.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "The Hundred-Foot Journey" gets a B+.

Into the Storm (PG-13) C-

Into the Storm (PG-13) C- - Movie Reviews for Kids

"Into the Storm" is basically a 21st Century "Twister": Storm chasers go after some of the most dangerous tornadoes on record to get information and capture incredible video, while at the same time trying to protect themselves and those they care about from literally being sucked away into a twister. But like all quality movies that Hollywood tries to duplicate, "Into the Storm" fails to capture that mix of intense action, real emotion, characters you care about and an overall fascination of the events taking place of the '96 Helen Hunt/Bill Paxton film.

"Into the Storm" could have also been titled "The Worst High School Graduation Ever", as the annual ceremony in the small, mid-western town of Silverton gets interrupted by a destructive and historic weather disturbance. Soon a group of storm chasers arrive, trying to track the many new tornadoes that are popping-up, hoping to get footage for their documentary. And they're joined by the high school's Vice Principal (played by Liam Neeson wannabe Richard Armitage), who's searching for his oldest son, who's skipped the grad ceremony to be with off his longtime crush. They're trapped in an abandoned building miles away.

The ensemble of mostly no-name actors includes "ICarly" alum Nathan Kress as the VP's other son, a kid who refuses to put down his video camera even in situations where he's about to die, and Matt Walsh (Mike on HBO's "Veep"), as the head storm chaser/filmmaker obsessed with getting incredible footage at all cost. They're not the only characters who feel that protecting themselves and others takes a backseat to making sure they get the footage. The message that getting the valuable video is more important than protecting oneself and others is not a good one to be putting out to audiences, especially in a disaster movie.

The dialogue among all of these stock characters is, not surprisingly, very corny. Most of the situations are poorly staged and way over-the-top, and the story is filled with crater-sized plot holes and numerous continuity errors. Two goofball storm chasers straight out of the TV show "Jackass", with dreams of becoming YouTube stars, are the unnecessary comic relief. Yes, even with the monumental amount of death and destruction depicted in "Into the Storm", you still have to make time to laugh. Director Steven Quale has one character briefly touch on the topic of the recent increase in natural disasters on Earth, but doesn't have the guts to go any further and take a stand on the subject. Probably too busy looking for where he could add another big laugh.

There is one thing that prevents "Into the Storm" from earning Category-F status: The visuals of the tornadoes and the damage and destruction they cause have an all-too authentic look, feel and sound. Several of the action sequences are very compelling and include some genuinely eye-opening moments. My forecast is for the film's special effects to get some attention come awards season.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Into the Storm" gets a C-.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG-13) C+

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG-13) C+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

A dominating presence in the 90s, revitalized with an animated film in 2007 and a Nickelodeon series beginning in 2012, the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" have come out of their shells once again with this semi-triumphant return to the big screen. On the heels of a fourth "Transformers" and TNT's "The Last Ship", The Summer of Michael Bay continues with this franchise reboot, which he produced.

For a change, Megan Fox actually gives a believable performance as NYC TV reporter April O'Neil. For the first twenty minutes or so, "Ninja Turtles" plays like "an aspiring reporter who wants more out of her job and career" comedy. The set-up, however, is clumsy and awkward, mostly due to Will Arnett, who is completely miscast and unfunny as April's cameraman Vernon. Only when we are formally re-introduced to the giant green crime-fighting reptiles, does "Ninja Turtles" begin to move at a faster pace.

As the story goes, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, and Leonardo (voiced by "Jackass" star Johnny Knoxville) have been living and learning, in a NYC sewer, under the watchful eye of their master - the wise old rat Splinter (voiced by Tony Shaloub). How they came to be is one of the new and more interesting elements to this otherwise thin Pizza-crust of a story. Once they meet April, the Turtles' main goal is to protect her and save the city from the evil Shredder and his henchmen, who have a plan to gain control of New York and the entire world with a poison gas.

While not as "cute" as some of their previous versions, these CGI Turtles look very realistic (if there were actual 6 ft. talking, fighting turtles). And their dialogue is quite good, just what you'd expect from four teenagers living, working and playing together (think One Direction as reptiles). The traditional fast-paced, aggressive style of the Turtles is alive and well here. A sequence in which the Turtles, April and Vernon attempt to escape from the bad guys by taking a short-cut down a snow-covered mountain, is the most impressive and entertaining of the entire movie.

Bay's brand of visuals and sound effects are everywhere in "Ninja Turtles", complete with his trademark over-use of slow-motion. And after wanting to be in a "Turtles" movie for decades, Whoopi Goldberg finally gets her chance in a small role as April's news director.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" is rated PG-13 for some sci-fi action/violence and peril. There are some scary moments for young fans of the Nick animated series, but it's safe for kids 11 and up. Could this have been more fun? Absolutely. And coming off of "Guardians of the Galaxy", it falls way short in comparison. But for fans of these semi-iconic characters, especially the young ones, this is a harmless, though forgettable, effort.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" gets a C+.

Get On Up (PG-13) A-

Get On Up (PG-13) A- - Movie Reviews for Kids

"Get On Up" is director Tate Taylor's follow-up to the 2011 sleeper hit "The Help", which got a Best Picture Oscar nomination and Best Supporting Actress win for Octavia Spencer. Both she and Viola Davis re-team with Taylor for the James Brown biopic, but this time in very small roles, as two of the women who had an influence on Brown during his life. The man who portrays the legendary "Godfather of Soul" is the clear star of this show.

Chadwick Boseman's breakout role was as baseball pioneer Jackie Robinson in last year's "42". His performance as the greedy, selfish, lonely and incredibly talented Brown is another winner, and in fact, an even more impressive piece of work. Boseman dominates every scene he's in, which is most of the film, with a display of raw tenacity you don't see from most actors in biopics. And in each scene we get something new and effective, adding layer upon layer to Brown's very complex life. And Boseman completely captures Brown's signature dance moves (including the splits), turning each song (and there are many more than I expected) into a powerhouse event.

This is the kind of performance that's going to attract Best Actor attention, and Boseman certainly deserves it. One negative, and it's not really his fault, is that Boseman doesn't actually sing any of Brown's classic songs, but rather lipsynchs to the original renditions. I'm not sure how this will affect Boseman come Awards Season (he's a lock for a Golden Globe Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical nomination). Reese Witherspoon sung all of June Carter Cash's songs in "Walk the Line", while Jamie Foxx only performed a few songs in his own voice as Ray Charles in "Ray". They both went on to win Oscars.

The vocal dubings are not the only reason why the editors of "Get On Up" deserve applause for a heck of a job. The script, written by brothers John-Henry and Jez Butterworth (who also co-penned the Tom Cruise/Emily Blunt action film "Edge of Tomorrow") bounces around, back and forth, through the timeline of Brown's life. In one scene, Brown is struggling in his later years (the makeup on Boseman is quite good), the next we flashback to his all but perfect childhood, and then we see Brown in his prime on-stage at the Apollo Theatre. If not done as well as it is, this technique could've driven me crazy. But because the storytelling is so engaging, with unique, symbolic touches and a commanding lead, "Get On Up" keeps you on your toes from the frightening opening scenes to the closing credits montage, complete with photos of the real Mr. Brown. 

The supporting cast is led by Nelsan Ellis ("Secretariat") who does solid work as Brown's right-hand-man Bobby Byrd. Dan Aykroyd is also very good as Brown's longtime manager Ben Bart. And comedian Craig Robinson plays one of Brown's bandmates. There's also an A-list behind-the-scenes team, as both Brian Grazer (of Ron Howard's Imagine Entertainment) and rock pioneer Mick Jagger (who was friends with Brown in real life) serve as producers.

"Get On Up" is rated PG-13 for strong language, some violence, brief adult content and drug use. It's appropriate for teens and up. I give Taylor credit for taking some risks: The film is a lengthy 2:20, allowing him enough time to cover the scope of an incredible life, though he does only touch briefly on some of the singer's negative traits and periods. And he has Brown "Break the Fourth Wall" a few times, a technique that dominated Clint Eastwood's "Jersey Boys". It's much more effective here.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Get On Up" gets an A-. Overall, "I feel good" in stating that this is one of the most satisfying and entertaining movies of 2014.

Guardians of the Galaxy (PG-13) B+

Guardians of the Galaxy (PG-13) B+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

2014 is the year that Marvel movies have gone where the studio has never gone before. "Captain America: The Winter Soldier", the highest-grossing film of '14 to date, perfectly mixed the action and political thriller genres. And now with "Guardians of the Galaxy", one of Marvel's best ever, director James Gunn has created an outer space action/adventure that's also packed with emotion and a ton of laughs.

Chris Pratt ("Parks and Recreation", "The LEGO Movie") stars as Peter Quill (aka STAR-LORD) - the notorious outlaw (at least in his own mind) of the galaxy who was abducted from Earth at the age of 9 the night his mother died of cancer. Peter roams an abandoned planet and finds a mysterious orb he's planning on selling to a collector. But the orb turns out to be worth much more than he initially thought and it becomes a hot item that many want to get their hands on, including evil warlord Thanos, who will use it to rule the galaxy and kill billions of innocent citizens.

Others, such as fortune hunters Rocket Raccoon and his talking tree trunk sidekick Groot (Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel went into the booth to voice CGI characters) want the orb so they can sell it, while Gamora, the adopted daughter of Thanos (played by Zoe Saldana), has a different reason for pursuing the sphere. They eventually all end-up together in prison with the infamous Drax the Destroyer (WWE wrestler Dave Bautista), and soon realize they have to work together to protect the orb. And who knows - they may actually become friends along the way.

Clearly nothing groundbreaking with the plot. We've seen stories like this before. It's the execution, unique, well-written characters and the level of comedy that raises "Guardians of the Galaxy" to new heights. This is a film where the story itself takes a backseat to style. The narrative is straightforward, though if you tried to dissect every detail of every scene and keep track of the numerous villains and their motivations your head would spin. And you can see most of the "surprises" coming from light-years away. But that's OK. It's the wildly entertaining interactions between this unlikely team of outlaws that makes "Guardians" work.

Gunn is able to these have characters be instantly likeable, which is hard to do, especially for a new superhero movie based on a relatively obscure comic book. Pratt and Saldana have excellent chemistry together and a lot of fun with their roles. Bautista shows-off both his macho build and the ability to deliver lines. After seeing a 17-minute sneak peek of "Guardians" last month, I predicted that Cooper's Rocket would be the breakout star of the film, and he does provide some of the strongest, laugh-out-loud funny moments. In fact, this is the best Marvel movie character (and casting) since Robert Downey, Jr. first played Tony Stark/Iron Man.

However, if all five of the "Guardians" were, themselves, part of a galaxy, Diesel's Groot would be at the center of it. Much credit goes to Gunn for being able to draw authentic emotion, throughout the film, from the most unexpected places.

Technically, "Guardians of the Galaxy" is practically flawless. The makeup and costumes are Oscar-nomination worthy, as are the impressive visuals. And the soundtrack (aka "Awesome Mix Vol. 1") is a collection of classic, retro songs from the '70's and '80's, including Blue Swede's "Hooked on a Feeling", which has been stuck in my head since the film's first trailer was released back in February. The soundtrack actually becomes a character in the story, another stroke of genius by Gunn and the writers.

"Guardians of the Galaxy" is rated PG-13 for the sci-fi action violence and some adult language. It's appropriate for kids 11 and up. Diehard Marvel fans, including those of this comic book, will not be disappointed. The movie includes the traditional Stan Lee cameo and post-credits "Easter Egg" staples. For everyone else, this is a great chance to get in on the ground floor of the next, big superhero movie franchise, and have one of the best times at the theater all year.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Guardians of the Galaxy" gets a B+.

Lucy (R) C

Lucy (R) C - Movie Reviews for Kids

What if you were kidnapped by a group of suited men with guns and had a powerful and valuable drug surgically implanted in your stomach? And what if this led to you becoming the most intelligent person in the history of the world? I'm not sure mankind would be ready for it, something Oscar-winner Morgan Freeman could attest to, since he uses that line, yet again, this time as a professor of Neuroscience, in "Lucy". And the "drug problem" is exactly what happens to Scarlett Johansson, who plays the title character in this latest sci-fi action thriller from writer/director Luc Besson ("The Fifth Element").

Once Lucy realizes that the CPH4 leaking from the bag is messing with her brain and bodily functions, she gets it removed. But not before her brain power expands from about 10% (the current maximum for humans) to more than 20%, the equal of dolphins, according Freeman's Dr. Norman. And that's just the start. Meantime, the drug smugglers are out to find Lucy and get their drugs back, while she's out for revenge, more drugs (to feed her new, unique habit) and to share her new-found discoveries with the professor. 

"Lucy" begins very slowly. The set-up, in which Lucy and a former boyfriend contemplate which of them will deliver a briefcase to a man in a hotel, is painful to watch as it drags on way too long. Besson must have given the movie's editor the day off when they were cutting the first 10 minutes. And things don't get much better with Johansson's over-the-top scenes that lead to the implanting of the drugs. But once the CPH4 kicks-in, so does the actress' performance and the film. Johansson as a ruthless, emotionless killing machine works quite nicely. A car chase through the streets of Paris is the most genuinely entertaining sequence in the entire movie.

Besson takes some risks with "Lucy", the first being the actual concept, which expands into theories on evolution, human existence and the future of the species. He gets very creative with imagery, using cut-away videos of animals in nature, outer space and microscopic findings. There are touches of "2001: A Space Odyssey", "The Matrix", "Inception", and in one particular section, a montage right out of "The Tree of Life" (but it makes much more sense here). A few of the theories will be easy for audiences to accept. The rest, including speeches on why we were created and our ultimate destiny, is no more than sci-fi movie mumbo-jumbo.

The biggest problem with "Lucy" is that with all the crazy concepts and Lucy's wild antics, there are no true surprises. "Lucy" is too straightforward, with hardly any pulse-raising moments or emotional highs. The climax seems very rushed and the pay-off is forced and a little hokey. Johansson and Freeman are together for only two extended scenes, in yet another "extended cameo" performance for the veteran actor. This is a rare starring role for Johansson. Unfortunately the role limits her opportunities to show she can truly dominate a film. 

"Lucy" is rated R for some strong action/violence. It's appropriate for teens and up. The premise makes it intriguing enough to keep your interest, but in the end, it's not nearly as satisfying, memorable or groundbreaking as Besson intended it to be.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Lucy" gets a C.

Hercules (PG-13) D+

Hercules (PG-13) D+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

Dwayne Johnson is one of the hardest working men in Hollywood. His post-wrestling, big screen career has included notable action hits, family films, and even a few comedies. Prior to filming "Hercules", the artist formerly known as "The Rock" told director Brett Ratner (the "Rush Hour" trilogy) that he was "born to play" the title role. And you'd think being the son of Zeus would be a perfect fit for Johnson. But while his physique is appropriately impressive, this twisted-up re-hash and re-vision of the Hercules legend, based on a comic book, is little more than a 100-minute infomercial on how to get into great shape.

I guess you can call "Hercules" an action comedy, even though all the attempts at humor (and there are many) fall ridiculously flat. Johnson's dramatic deliveries of the way-too-serious (and modern) dialogue do come-off as laughable, but I don't think it's intentional. Ian McShane, who plays one of Hercules' merry misfits, is the comic relief character, and talks non-stop about his impending death as if it were the funniest topic he's ever discussed. This running "joke" is ineffective and misplaced. There's also so much violence, including several bloody battles involving countless stabbings and killings, that it's surprising "Hercules" didn't get an R-rating, especially when you add the few, choice f-bombs. Ratner is relentless with the action, and the majority of it is mindless and pointless.

There's not much praise I can give in the story department, either. "Is Hercules really the son of Zeus?" "Did he actually kill his wife and children?" These are the most dramatic subplots the writers could come-up with. The best thing about the script is that it avoids the headache-inducing Greek Gods universe (which we all suffered through with "Clash" and "Wrath of the Titans", as well as this past January's "The Legend of Hercules"). And, thankfully, a possible romantic angle is avoided, since it only would have dragged things out even longer. 

"Hercules" is the latest in the new Hollywood trend of dumbed-down, modern re-tellings of classic stories, in which we learn "The Real Story" behind some iconic fictional characters. "Snow White & the Huntsman" and "Maleficent" worked because they were complex, suspenseful and fun. "Hercules" now joins the growing list of failures which includes "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters", "I, Frankenstein", and in all likelihood, "Dracula Untold". With a lack of imagination from studios to create interesting, new characters and meaningful stories, this is what we are left with. Coming Soon - "The Werewolf: Before He Had Hair".

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Hercules" gets a D+.

Sex Tape (R) D-

Sex Tape (R) D- - Movie Reviews for Kids

Four-time Golden Globe nominee Cameron Diaz is on quite a roll. "Sex Tape" is her seventh movie in a row that's either a critical or financial bust, or both. In Jason Segel's case, fresh-off the finale of the CBS sitcom "How I Met Your Mother", this is a low point in his big screen career which has included some solid work both writing and in front of the camera. "Sex Tape" is practically a complete failure and it has nothing to do with the actual premise of the movie.

You know going in that you'll have to bite the bullet for the first 20 minutes or so for the predictable set-up. We meet Annie and Jay as college students (even though Diaz is 41 and Segel 34 - and look it) when their relationship is new and exciting. But once they get married things become stale, so they decide to star in their own sex tape. Nothing fresh or fun here. But that's OK.

Their sexcapade is accidentally sent to family members and friends through Jay's numerous tech devices. He and Annie now must find a way to get all the IPads back and erase the video. This is the point when "Sex Tape" is supposed to kick-in as a wild comedy. This is also when the real trouble begins.

At only 95 minutes, "Sex Tape" feels much longer. This is a reunion for Diaz and Segel, and they reunite with director Jake Kasdan, who all teamed-up for "Bad Teacher" in 2011. It's time all three delete each other's numbers from their cell phones. There is no chemistry between the actors, who both give awful individual performances. And Rob Corddry and Ellie Kemper ("Bridesmaids") simply go through the motions as the couple's best friends.

Segel, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Nicholas Stoller and Kate Angelo, put no care or effort into trying to make this film clever or funny on any level. Payoffs in most scenes are non-existent. The dialogue is completely flat and there's no attention to detail or logic. At one point, in an effort to create a joke, a character claims that Steven Spielberg's 2012 biopic "Lincoln" was 3 hours. With just a little research the writers could have learned that "Lincoln" was under 2:30. A small point, but a good example of just how poorly this film was made.

Also worth noting is an extended scene at the mansion of business owner Hank (Rob Lowe at his most annoying) which consists of cocaine use, a dog crashing into a wall and passing out, and portraits of Lowe's head on the bodies of classic Disney animated characters. It's as bizarre as it sounds. The "twist" midway through is a straight-up disaster.

There are other rude, crude and pointless situations simply thrown in an attempt to get laughs, including a few offensive references to kids with illnesses and people with disabilities. A surprise A-list cameo, who will regret it for the rest of his career, begins the over-sentimental final phase of "Sex Tape", which is so shockingly bad it seems to have been tacked-on at the last minute. And this film is already a lock to win the Worst Editing of the Year award because I can't imagine another movie over the next 5+ months that's as choppy and sloppy.

"Sex Tape" is rated R for adult content, including nudity and language. It's appropriate for older-teens and up. I do remember chuckling twice early on, but I can't remember why. For the remaining 90%, I sat stone-faced, staring, often shaking my head in disbelief that someone would actually think that what was happening on screen could be classified as comedy. This is one of the worst movies of this or any other year.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Sex Tape" gets a D-.

Planes: Fire & Rescue (PG) B

Planes: Fire & Rescue (PG) B - Movie Reviews for Kids

Last August, Disney's non-Pixar animated "Cars" spin-off "Planes", originally set for a Direct-to-DVD release, opened in theaters in the middle of a crowded animation summer. A $200 million worldwide box office total was good enough for The Mouse House to push full steam ahead on a sequel. Now, less than a year later, in likely the shortest amount of time between the big screen releases of an animated film and its sequel in movie history, comes "Planes: Fire & Rescue". I expected it to be similar to the original, which was fun but only slightly better than average. But to my surprise, and likely yours as well if you give it a chance, "Planes 2" is an action-packed thrill ride for the whole family.

Longtime Disney writer, producer, and director Roberts Gannaway begins the film with a nice on-screen dedication to all the brave firefighters who sacrifice their time and lives to serve and protect our country.

Dane Cook reprises his role as the voice of Dusty Crophopper, the former crop-duster turned racer who won the prestigious "Wings Around the Globe" event and is now returning home to Propwash Junction in time for the annual Corn Festival. But Dusty learns that he's got a bad gear box and might not be able to race again. A fire destroys part of the town, and investigators determine that Propwash Junction needs a larger fire department. So they shutdown the town until a second unit can be found.

Because his air racing career may be over, Dusty volunteers to train to become a certified firefighter. This means working with the best and most experienced crew in the nearby town, including the equally tough and sensitive Blade Ranger (voiced by Ed Harris) and Lil' Dipper ("Modern Family"'s Julie Bowen), who claims she's Dusty's biggest fan.

Soon, Dusty and his new team are battling multiple blazing infernos, which are incredibly authentic-looking, especially coming from the usually sub-par DisneyToon Studios. There are several aerial and action sequences with planes flying in and out of the flames that are so well done they could be too intense for young kids.

"Fire & Rescue" is also filled with genuinely dramatic moments. Hal Holbrook, as the voice of Mayday, an old-school firetruck who feels his time may be over, is quite good. The script also includes the dangers that firefighters face on a daily basis, which audiences will appreciate, especially those with firefighters in the family.

And there's also enough light comedy to satisfy everybody. A few stock characters, including a park superintendent, are predictably over-the-top, but there are corny and even laugh-out-loud clever car and plane-name references, as well as a few inside jokes and good one-liners. A scene involving Blade's previous career will be appreciated by adults, and yes, Pixar staple John Ratzenburger and sports commentator Brent Mustburger do make return cameos.

"Planes: Fire & Rescue" is not outstanding, but, unlike the original, the script takes some chances and there are moments of true wonder. Let's put it this way: in the wrong hands it could have been a lot worse. It's rated PG for some action/violence and a few references that are sure to fly over kids' heads.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Planes: Fire & Rescue" gets a B. It's smart, honorable, and a safe bet for the entire family.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) B+

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) B+ - Movie Reviews for Kids

2011's "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" rebooted the classic franchise with a new origin story. While not as action-packed as expected (more of a sci-fi drama until the final 30 minutes), it was still one of the most successful movies of the summer. Now, three years later, "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" raises the bar as one of the edgiest and most satisfying action films of the year.

Andy Serkis, who many, including "Rise" star James Franco and myself, argued was snubbed for an Oscar nomination last time around for his role as Caesar, receives top-billing and the majority of screen time in "Dawn". If not already, Serkis can now officially be crowned the King of Motion Capture thanks to another completely convincing and awards worthy performance as the ape leader. From his subtle facial expressions, daring movements and wide range of emotional displays Serkis/Caesar elevate this franchise to new heights. If you don't believe that this character is a true thinking, speaking, intelligent ape then you may as well stop going to the movies.

It's been 10 years since the deadly virus, initially tested on apes, began to spread around the world. Nearly the entire population has died or soon will. A small group of immune survivors are living in San Francisco, but their time is running out as they are short on fuel and food. Dreyfus, their leader (played by Gary Oldman) has a plan: Get the city's old power plant working again. The only problem is it's in ape territory, where Caesar, his family and thousands of others are living peacefully away from the humans. When a team sent to investigate the condition of the plant, led by Malcolm ("Zero Dark Thirty"'s Jason Clarke) and Ellie (Keri Russell) stumbles upon the ape community, "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" quickly becomes a captivating cat-and-mouse game of trust and betrayal between the two sides.

Following an "epidemic" introduction similar to last year's "World War Z", director Matt Reeves ("Cloverfield") takes us inside the ape community, and establishes Caesar as both a strong leader and proud husband and father. And the sign language skills taught to him by in "Rise" are now being used by all the apes. They have truly set-up a "human" community, but with one major difference - their #1 law: Apes don't kill Apes (smartly taken from the classic films). But Caesar and a few of the other apes can also speak English, which you may think sounds corny, but trust me, within the structure of this saga it's extremely effective. As these primates soon learn, becoming more human-like has both its pluses and minuses.

Reeves doesn't hold back with the multi-layered dramatic elements of the film. "Dawn" is a dark movie, both visually and in tone. There are some perfectly executed twists and surprises along with a few pure, out-of-control action sequences. It's no surprise that Reeves has already been booked to direct the next chapter, due out in 2016.

The performances of the live-action cast in largely supporting roles are very solid. A few pivotal scenes are a little forced and rushed, and the score, by Oscar-winning composer Michael Giacchino, is a bit of a retro homage to the older "Apes" movies, but feels out of place here.

"Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" is rated PG-13 for language and intense action/violence, some a bit graphic. It's appropriate for mid-teens and up. This is a serious, but seriously good summer blockbuster that is so well done I intentionally avoided including a single pun in this entire review.

On The Official LCJ Report Card, "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" gets a B+.

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