Shorts (PG) F

Shorts (PG) F

"Shorts" is a Robert Rodriquez creation, so you'd expect a lot of special effects. However, "special" is a word that should never be used to describe this movie. "Awful" is that word.

In "Shorts" a kid named Toby, who has no friends, meets a couple of kids and they find a rainbow-colored rock that allows wished to come true. All of a sudden everyone wants the rock, including the adults, who are hoping to become rich, powerful, happy and everything else that people wish for.

Right from the start "Shorts" is a disaster. There's an opening staring contest sequence that isn't funny and continues throughout the film. The main story is predictable and goofy (in a bad way). Laughs? Forget it.

As for the acting, all of the kids are painful to watch. Meantime comic actors Leslie Mann and John Cryer and serious actors James Spader and William H. Macy are all part of the cast, and the way the film turned-out they can't be happy that they're associated with it.

And as for those effects, they're cheap, and often disgusting.

"Shorts" is divided into parts or "shorts", and the stories bounce back and forth in a way that's both confusing and reveals parts of the plot out of order.

Rodriquez had a hand in every aspect of the film: writing, directing, editing, picking the songs. He even had most of his family members playing roles. Yikes!

"Shorts" is rated PG for mild fantasy action. It's not appropriate for anyone. I saw "Shorts" at Grauman's Theater in Hollywood this past summer. I still can't believe that the first film I ever saw at that historic theater was, what could be, my worst film of the year. 

On The Official Kid Critic Report Card, "Shorts" gets an F.

There are going to be too many good movies out this holiday season for you to waste your time and money on renting or buying "Shorts". And if anyone gives it to you for Christmas, as for the receipt.


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